Breakups are one of the most challenging and emotional experiences that anyone can go through. It is an experience that many have faced, yet few enjoy talking about. Whether it was a long-term relationship or a short-lived fling, dealing with the aftermath of a breakup is not easy. The good news is that it is possible to get over a breakup and move on with your life. In this guide, we will provide you with a step-by-step plan to help you get over a breakup and find happiness again.
The Science of Breakups
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of getting over a breakup, it is essential to understand the science behind it. Studies have shown that the brain processes the end of a romantic relationship in the same way it processes physical pain. When you break up with someone, your brain registers it as a significant loss, which causes emotional pain.
Moreover, research suggests that there are three stages of the breakup process: the initial shock, the denial/anger stage, and finally, acceptance. Understanding these stages can assist you in coping with your emotions and moving forward with your life.
In the following sections, we will provide you with proven ideas and strategies that will guide you through these three stages of a breakup and help you to heal.
How to Get Over a Breakup: 15 Steps to Heal
Step 1. Give yourself time to grieve and reflect
After a breakup, it is essential to take some time to reflect on the relationship and grieve. It is normal to feel sad, angry, and confused. You need to give yourself the time to process your emotions and come to terms with what has happened.
The best thing you can do is to slow down, take a break from social media, and give yourself space to reflect. This is a critical time to be kind to yourself and take care of your mental health.
Step 2. Accept the reality of the situation
Denial is a common defense mechanism, but it can also hinder your healing process. Accepting that the relationship is over can be challenging, but it is essential to move forward.
Stop obsessing over what you could have done differently or trying to get your ex back. Acceptance signals that you are ready to move forward and embrace new opportunities.
Step 3. Avoid contact with your ex-partner
One of the toughest things about a breakup is cutting off contact with your ex. However, it is imperative that you avoid all communication with your ex, at least until you have come to terms with your feelings.
Staying in contact with your ex can be emotionally exhausting and may prevent you from moving forward. Delete your ex’s contact information, unfollow them on social media, and focus on your well-being.
Step 4. Practice self-care
One of the most effective ways to get over a breakup is to practice self-care. This could mean engaging in activities that make you happy, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing new hobbies.
Sometimes the little things, such as taking a hot bath, practicing yoga or meditation, can do wonders for your well-being. Remember to be kind to yourself and prioritize your mental health.
Step 5. Seek support from friends and family
It is vital to lean on your support system during this difficult time. Friends and family can provide you with the emotional support you need to heal.
Talking to someone that you trust can help you sort out your thoughts, feel less alone and relieve your feelings. Don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones – they are there to help you.
Step 6. Stay busy and distract yourself
A great way to cope with the pain of a breakup is to keep yourself busy. Do things that keep you mentally and physically occupied, whether it’s volunteering, joining a club, or attending events.
Additionally, try to avoid situations or places that remind you of your ex-partner, such as restaurants you used to frequent or songs that hold sentimental value.
Step 7. Exercise and eat well
Exercising is known to release endorphins and boost your mood, making you feel more positive and energized. A healthy diet and regular exercise routine will make you feel better both physically and emotionally.
Eating junk food and skipping exercises can leave you feeling drained and unmotivated. Eating healthy and taking care of your body is one of the best things you can do for yourself during a breakup.
Step 8. Embrace new opportunities
Breakups can elicit feelings of loss, but they can also create new possibilities. Whether it is traveling, studying, or pursuing a new career path, a breakup could be the perfect opportunity to explore new paths.
It is not always easy to make changes in life, but by embracing new opportunities, you will likely find a renewed sense of purpose and happiness.
Step 9. Reframe your experience and learn from it
It is often said that there is a lesson to be learned in every experience. After a breakup, it is crucial to reframe your experience and learn from it.
In doing so, you will have the opportunity to explore your emotional triggers and understand what you want in your next romantic relationship. Seek the lessons and power yourself with the knowledge and self-awareness to prepare you to heal and face a new relationship someday.
Step 10. Release anger and resentment towards your ex
Anger and resentment are natural feelings during and after a breakup. These emotions, however, can hold you back and prevent you from moving on.
Instead of holding onto negative feelings, try to focus on forgiveness – you don’t have to forget, but you must forgive. It may be difficult to do, but it will give you the emotional freedom you need to move forward with your life.
Step 11. Understand that healing takes time
Healing is not an overnight process, and it is important to understand that it will take time. Be patient and allow yourself to recover at your own pace. Don’t rush to get involved in another relationship without giving yourself time to recover from the previous one.
Reconcile with the fact that it will take time for you to overcome the breakup. Your priority should be focusing on yourself and identifying what makes you happy and continues doing these things.
Step 12. Seek professional help if necessary
While the healing process might seem doable, it can become a complex circle of emotions that lead to other underlying issues. If you find that you’re unable to move on or are struggling with severe emotions like depression or feelings of worthlessness, it may be time to seek professional help.
A psychiatrist or a counsellor can help you analyze your thoughts, feelings, identify your behavioural patterns, and help you work through your emotions. You don’t have to face these emotions alone.
Step 13. Reconnect with yourself and your values
After spending much of your time in a relationship, it’s possible to become less aware of who you are as an individual. It is important to reconnect with yourself, and one excellent way to achieve this is to revisit your values.
Focus on things that fulfill you and bring you to life. You can refresh whatever you’re passionate about, try new hobbies or meet new people. This will help you rediscover and reinforce your idea of what fulfils you.
Step 14. Give Love another chance
After a breakup, love again can seem difficult or improbable, but it is crucial to remember that love is beautiful, and it is worth another chance. We all fear the unknown, and the fear of getting hurt or experiencing another breakup can hold us back, but that is not the way to live or risk missing out on the things that bring us joy.
Give yourself time, connect with yourself, and understand what you want from love. You might find it surprising that you’re now more wiser, self-aware, and have a clearer a vision of what you want from a relationship. By doing this will prevent you from settling for less and possibly have better experiences.
Step 15. Move on
As cliché as it sounds, moving on really is the key to getting over a breakup. Accept that the relationship is over, and it’s time to move forward with your life.
Remember, you cannot change the past, and it is not helpful to obsess over it. Focus your energy and time on your future and what you want for yourself.
Table: How to Get Over a Breakup: A Detailed Guide
|Steps to Take||Description|
|1. Give yourself time to grieve and reflect||Taking a break from social media, being kind to yourself.|
|2. Accept the reality of the situation||Stop obsessing over your ex and things you can’t change.|
|3. Avoid contact with your ex-partner||Unfollow on social media, delete their number.|
|4. Practice self-care||Engage in activities that make you happy/relieve stress.|
|5. Seek support from friends and family||Talking to trusted friends or family members.|
|6. Stay busy and distract yourself||Traveling, joining a club, or attending events.|
|7. Exercise and eat well||Release endorphins and boost your mood; feel well physically/mentally.|
|8. Embrace new opportunities||Explore new paths and gain renewed purpose and happiness.|
|9. Reframe your experience and learn from it||Seek the lessons and gain self-awareness to prepare you to face a new relationship someday.|
|10. Release anger and resentment towards your ex||Focusing on forgiveness and freeing yourself from negative feelings and emotions over time.|
|11. Understand that healing is a process that takes time||You cannot rush the healing process and must take the time to work through it.|
|12. Seek professional help if necessary||A psychiatrist or a counsellor can help you work through your emotions.|
|13. Reconnect with yourself and your values||Revive old hobbies or explore new opportunities for change and discovery.|
|14. Give Love another chance||Connect with yourself and understand what you want from love and take a chance on it.|
|15. Move on||Focus your energy and time on your future.|
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
FAQ 1. How long does it take to get over a breakup?
Healing is a process that varies from person to person. There is no set timeline for getting over a breakup. Factors such as the length of the relationship, the circumstances of the breakup, and individual coping mechanisms all contribute to the healing process.
Yes. Seeing your ex-partner’s social media posts can be emotionally triggering and can hinder your healing process. Unfollow your ex-partner and take a break from social media as much as possible during the healing process.
FAQ 3. How can I make myself feel better after a breakup?
Focusing on self-care activities can help you feel better after a breakup. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, take a break from social media, and try new hobbies. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time.
FAQ 4. Should I start dating again after a breakup?
It is essential to give yourself the time you need to heal before getting back into the dating scene. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can lead to emotional baggage, and memories of your previous relationship may interfere in navigating a new relationship.
FAQ 5. How do I deal with feelings of loneliness after a breakup?
Joining a club, trying new hobbies that interest you, connecting with friends or family, and practicing mindfulness can all help combat feelings of loneliness. Take this time to discover yourself and explore what makes you happy.
FAQ 6. What do I do if my ex wants to get back together?
Consider why you broke up in the first place and whether getting back together is the best idea. If both parties have grown, moved on, and a realistic dialogue towards forgiveness exists, rebuilding the relationship may work, but be sure to seek professional help if necessary.
FAQ 7. How do I stop thinking about my ex?
Staying busy, surrounding yourself with friends & family, healing, and focusing on self-care activities can help prevent thoughts of your ex. Avoid places or activities that remind you of your ex-partner and search for new hobbies to refocus your thinking.
FAQ 8. Why do I keep thinking about my ex months after the breakup?
The grieving process takes time and longer for some people. Strong emotions still hold you tied to your ex-partner – hurt or fear of being alone, or a sense of incomplete healing. Consider reaching out to a psychiatrist or a counsellor to gain clarity and emotional freedom over the past.
FAQ 9. How do I know if I’m not over my ex?
You’re not over your ex if you find yourself thinking about them more frequently, not feeling happy or fulfilled in your personal life, or avoiding places where you might potentially run into your ex.
FAQ 10. Should I ask my ex-partner for closure?
Closure is something that comes from within you, and it’s essential to get that for yourself. You can have a discussion with your ex-partner at the end of the healing process to gain emotional clarity but understand that there’s no guarantee that closure will come out of this conversation, and it’s not always a good idea.
FAQ 11. What should I do if their presence bothers me?
Time your healing, you might still be sensitive to their presence. If their presence bothers you, especially when in public places or events, practice good self-care and avoid these places. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for taking care of yourself emotionally.
No – keeping your ex on social media can trigger reminders of the past and hinder your healing process. Unfollow your ex-partner and take much-needed time off social media.
FAQ 13. Why do I feel guilty after a breakup?
After a breakup, it is normal to experience a range of emotions, and guilt is one of them. Maybe you feel bad for hurting the other person or regret some of the things you did or didn’t do differently.
Conclusion: You Can Get Over a Breakup
Breakups are never easy, and they can leave you feeling lost and helpless. However, by following the steps outlined in this guide, you can take control of your emotional recovery and move forward.
Take the time you need to grieve, reflect, and reconnect with yourself. Stay busy and pursue new hobbies, seek support from friends and family, and practice self-care activities. Remember that your healing is a process and give yourself time and space to heal.
Reframe your experience, understand your value, learn from your past, and embrace new